I Quit!

I quit smoking this morning. I have been an ex-smoker now for about six hours. Anyone who has quit before or attempted to would appreciate that I'm already proud of myself although it has been less than a day...

Last week I woke up with a shallow cough. Eric has had the same cough (and he is not a smoker, nor has he ever been), so I know logically that it had something to do with the weather changing and not smoking, but I decided that day that I want to quit. That was a huge step for me, you see, because I loved smoking. I smoked for eleven years, a pack per day, and loved it.

I quit once before, about a year and a half ago for a month, but got right back into it. This time I am absolutely not letting myself have even one because it is just way too hard to stick to it after slipping up. This time I am trying not to obsess over the thought of smoking like last time. Right now, I'm focusing on how good I will feel when I don't have to use any nicotine lozenges and I'm completely done with it. I've decided to have the mindset that smoking is disgusting and that I'm a stronger person than someone who allows a chemical to dictate my actions!

I remember last year sometime I told Donny that since it's supposedly harder to kick cigarettes than it is to kick heroin that he should be able to do it since I quit smoking before. then he said something to the effect of "well you smoke again now so you can't say that", and he was right! So he is my #1 motivation. I also like when people tell me I can't do it, so I can show them that I can! Anyways, I'm excited. Smoking has been such a huge part of my life, it's gonna be rough, but I know what to expect. last time I thought it would be a hell of a lot harder than it was, so at least this time I'm not disillusioned into thinking I'm going to go absolutely nuts. I really like this:

• In 20 minutes, your blood pressure and pulse rate decrease, and the body temperature of your hands and feet increase.
• Carbon monoxide in cigarette smoke reduces the blood’s ability to carry oxygen. At 8 hours, the carbon monoxide level in your blood decreases to normal. With the decrease in carbon monoxide, your blood oxygen level increases to normal.
• At 24 hours, your risk of having a heart attack decreases.
• At 48 hours, nerve endings start to regrow and the ability to smell and taste is enhanced.
• Between 2 weeks and 3 months, your circulation improves, walking becomes easier and you don’t cough or wheeze as often. Phlegm production decreases. Within several months, you have significant improvement in lung function.
• In 1 to 9 months, coughs, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease as you continue to see significant improvement in lung function. Cilia, tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs, regain normal function.
• In 1 year, risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack is reduced to half that of a smoker.
• Between 5 and 15 years after quitting, your risk of having a stroke returns to that of a non-smoker.
• In 10 years, your risk of lung cancer drops. Additionally, your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas decrease. Even after a decade of not smoking however, your risk of lung cancer remains higher than in people who have never smoked. Your risk of ulcer also decreases.
• In 15 years, your risk of coronary heart disease and heart attack in similar to that of people who have never smoked. The risk of death returns to nearly the level of a non-smoker.

-- http://www.highlighthealth.com/diseases-and-conditions/smoking-cessation-timeline-what-happens-when-you-quit/

So already the carbon monoxide levels in my blood are almost back to normal! The body is a really amazing thing, bouncing back from abuse.

Gonna go now, but I'll be updating this thing in time to let you all know how I've been doing as a non-smoker!

Danielle

Welcome to 2010

Well I haven't kept this up at all lately and that sucks because I've got a lot to say and I'm always thinking, and writing would make me feel great...but then again, that's just how I am--putting everything off. I haven't been to the gym in like 2 months and that's just another thing I'm neglecting to do. ugh!

Anyway, it's a new year and a new decade and I'm really glad that 2009 is over finally. I did have the best day of my life in 2009 (finally finished college and got engaged), but overall the year wasn't great. I lost my dog that was the love of my life...and I felt as though I was running in a hamster wheel, just doing the same thing over and over again. It was like I was in a rut where I would wake up (late), piddle around the house, get ready and go to work, then come home and drink some wine to get to sleep because I can't stop my mind from thinking about how much more money I need to make to feel comfortable and not anxious.

Although in May I no longer had to stress about tests or papers, new stress was added to my plate--how I was going to make enough to support us while Eric went to school full time, how I would ever save money for a wedding while my student loans entered the repayment period, finding a real job in the worst economic situation of my lifetime, and deciding what to be when I grow up...although I'm already older than the vast majority of those who graduated with me. So I decided to take the LSAT to see how well I would do and possibly go to law school since a B.A. didn't open doors for me the way I had hoped. I did better than average, but not outstanding because I could not afford a KAPLAN course...

It was hard to not feel that I was stuck in a rut. So this year I'm refusing to feel that way! A couple of months ago I went to Verizon to get a customer service position for a second job so I could feel more financially secure. The people who interviewed me asked if I would be interested in a leadership development program which was basically a fast track to management for recent college graduates. Of course I'd be interested! The only catch was that I would have to be willing to relocate after the 18-month training period. Eric was stoked about the idea and I agreed to start the interviewing process. It's a really great opportunity, something that would take at least five years to achieve if I had started at entry level and worked my way up.

So I interviewed...in November, and then December, and then last week. I felt like my chances were slim because I have no experience outside of restaurants, but I was hopeful. And then yesterday I got the call...I was hired! I am so excited to start! This will be my first opportunity at a real career and I am so thankful for it working out. I feel like I finally got a big break and I'm not taking it for granted. The benefits are great, and they will pay for me to go on to get a Master's if I want to. I hope to move to Washington state (which is perfect for Eric's aspirations of becoming a computer engineer).

New year and a new career and new start! I will continue to work at the restaurant one day per week for extra cash that will go right into a separate account for the wedding. What a relief! I no longer have to hope to make enough to keep my bills current. I have never had security like that, ever.

This year I will stay positive and keep pushing myself to achieve great things. I believe that each day can be a great day if I decide it will be a great day. It still hasn't hit me that I no longer am required to work a job that makes me feel less than human and unworthy of a better life. Positivity is key and I can't forget that. I am so thankful for God giving me a chance to better my situation!