Welcome to 2010

Well I haven't kept this up at all lately and that sucks because I've got a lot to say and I'm always thinking, and writing would make me feel great...but then again, that's just how I am--putting everything off. I haven't been to the gym in like 2 months and that's just another thing I'm neglecting to do. ugh!

Anyway, it's a new year and a new decade and I'm really glad that 2009 is over finally. I did have the best day of my life in 2009 (finally finished college and got engaged), but overall the year wasn't great. I lost my dog that was the love of my life...and I felt as though I was running in a hamster wheel, just doing the same thing over and over again. It was like I was in a rut where I would wake up (late), piddle around the house, get ready and go to work, then come home and drink some wine to get to sleep because I can't stop my mind from thinking about how much more money I need to make to feel comfortable and not anxious.

Although in May I no longer had to stress about tests or papers, new stress was added to my plate--how I was going to make enough to support us while Eric went to school full time, how I would ever save money for a wedding while my student loans entered the repayment period, finding a real job in the worst economic situation of my lifetime, and deciding what to be when I grow up...although I'm already older than the vast majority of those who graduated with me. So I decided to take the LSAT to see how well I would do and possibly go to law school since a B.A. didn't open doors for me the way I had hoped. I did better than average, but not outstanding because I could not afford a KAPLAN course...

It was hard to not feel that I was stuck in a rut. So this year I'm refusing to feel that way! A couple of months ago I went to Verizon to get a customer service position for a second job so I could feel more financially secure. The people who interviewed me asked if I would be interested in a leadership development program which was basically a fast track to management for recent college graduates. Of course I'd be interested! The only catch was that I would have to be willing to relocate after the 18-month training period. Eric was stoked about the idea and I agreed to start the interviewing process. It's a really great opportunity, something that would take at least five years to achieve if I had started at entry level and worked my way up.

So I interviewed...in November, and then December, and then last week. I felt like my chances were slim because I have no experience outside of restaurants, but I was hopeful. And then yesterday I got the call...I was hired! I am so excited to start! This will be my first opportunity at a real career and I am so thankful for it working out. I feel like I finally got a big break and I'm not taking it for granted. The benefits are great, and they will pay for me to go on to get a Master's if I want to. I hope to move to Washington state (which is perfect for Eric's aspirations of becoming a computer engineer).

New year and a new career and new start! I will continue to work at the restaurant one day per week for extra cash that will go right into a separate account for the wedding. What a relief! I no longer have to hope to make enough to keep my bills current. I have never had security like that, ever.

This year I will stay positive and keep pushing myself to achieve great things. I believe that each day can be a great day if I decide it will be a great day. It still hasn't hit me that I no longer am required to work a job that makes me feel less than human and unworthy of a better life. Positivity is key and I can't forget that. I am so thankful for God giving me a chance to better my situation!